"You cannot be serious!"
Today, I was a volunteer linesman for the men's finals of the club champs at the tennis club I play for. I've never done anything like that before and it certainly was an interesting experience! For three hours I sat in a plastic chair watching the baseline at one end of the court.
Being a linesman is a job filled with mixed emotions. On the one hand, you hope that the ball never lands near your line so that you don't have to make a difficult call. On the other, when you have nothing to do, it gets really boring and your concentration wanes. When you do let your guard down a little, that is when the ball does come near you line and suddenly you realise that you've missed where the ball landed and you have to guess whether it was in our out!!! OOOPS!!!
Fortunately, the guys in the final like to play really safe and seldom hit near the lines. I only had a couple of close calls to make and they didn't do a John McEnroe on me. I also wore my dark sunglasses which helped me avoid making eye contact with them after making a close call!
Something random - I was just watching Laurie Fisher, coach of the ACT Brumbies being interviewed on TV. Suddenly I thought, "Santa must have really bad rosacea." Hmm.... go figure...
NG tube anyone?
I just spent the last two days doing the Surgical Skills course. The first day covered stuff I've managed to do a few times already, such as suturing and applying local anaesthetic, but it was good to learn how to do them more formally. The second day was really good and covered more tricky things like lumbar punctures and chest drains.
The only problem with the course were the two people who were running the course. They were really patronising and treated us like school children. One of them was particularly unhelpful and I got really cross when she was telling me I was tying a knot incorrectly without explaining why I was doing it wrong or how I should be doing it properly. I know I'm stupid but I don't appreciate being reminded of it. Anyway, once she went away and VS sitting opposite me showed me properly for 5 seconds, I had no problems tying the knot.
One of the tasks was learning how to insert a nasogastric tube. We had the chance to do it on each other and it has to be one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever had done to me. Firstly your nose become very irritated when the tube enters the nostril. Then your eyes water as it goes further in. It becomes painful as it passes over the nasal septum and bends down into the pharynx. Next, you feel it scratch the back of your throat as it touches your gag reflex and you start to want to vomit. Then it's shoved quickly all the way down the oesophagus which isn't painful in itself but the sliding against your throat makes you gag even more.
When it finally reaches your stomach the tube is still triggering the gag reflex while the person who is inserting the tube aspirates your gastric contents. The sight of instant noodles, chicken, berry smoothie and gastric acid mixed together reinforces your desire to vomit. Finally the torturer decides to pull the tube out, and you relive the experience of it being inserted again but in reverse. Phew!! The tube is out!! Your nose aches like you have sinusitis. Your throat is sore like when you have a cold. You can taste blood from the trauma. Eyes are still watering too. At least the desire to vomit has disappeared.
