Pethidine Pleasure

My life in othorpaedics

Stress. Tired. Pain. That's all I feel right now;
12 days in a row. Over 120 hours in hospital;
Two long days of admitting over last weekend;
3 days off over the last 30 days;
No, I'm not picking up extra locum work;
Witnessed seizure in ED. Why did you give her tramadol???
Booking a patient for theatre by faxing the form from home because I forgot to do it the day before;
Blood forms. Referral forms. Consent forms. Drug charts. MMSE. Fluid reviews. I need some more stickies;
Who can find the drug chart? Afebrile, obs stable. NBM. Plan-continue. Sorry you're too swollen;
IV luers. Blood cultures. FBC ESR CRP U+E LFT. Drug level. INR APTT. Group + hold;
Consultant ward rounds. Where the hell has my team gone!?!? My offsider has gone for a nap;
Pager. Offsider's pager. On-call pager. Cell phone. Ward phone. Yes, you can get hold of me;
Grilling by consultant at handover. MDM. Home alone or private hospital or rest home resident;
ADLS, home help, walking frame, walking stick, hoist transfers only. PT OT SW please;
Urine, sputum, pus and blood. Generally mucky discharge;
PR, enemas, diarrhoea, malaena. That all smells like poo;
Patient confused. I'm confused!!! What is the day today?
Screaming kids, screaming adults, screaming nurses;
Why does that 7yr old weigh more than me???
Pharmacy, if I can't chart maxalon, what do I do instead?
Cinnamon scone, sushi bar, cold roast beef salad, fish and chips. All of it tastes like $#!^;
I need some coffee stat;
X-rays, CT scans, Ultrasound, MRI. I beg for one of these;
Hopefully my patient won't get stuck in the machine;
BMC for MUA, ORIF, DHS, THJR, TKJR, I&D, POP. K-wires, tension wires, plate and screw. Hemiarthroplasty. Who needs follow-up???
Scrubbed in theatre, stuck in clinic. Driving inbetween. I can't be in two places at once;
Where has my swipe card gone?
Yes, I know I'm useless. I apologise in advance;
Is the bone broke or not. That's all I care!

posted by SpongeMike @ 23:42